Show and Hell/Transcript

(The episode starts with stage, where Hamster showing his Gumpa while the others watch it in the field.)

Hamster: This are my Gumpa. He has no hands. He lost them in the war! It are sad.

Cat: He smells like cabbage.

Hamster's Gumpa: It sure is hard pleasuring myself when you've got hooks for hands!

Puppy: Speaking of which, (kicks Hamster and his Gumpa out of stage) this is my pee pee place! Aww, yeah.

Cat: Fer fucks sake man, haven't we seen enough of that thing?

Puppy: Well have you ever seen this before?! (peeing at Cat, who is spitting) I guess you right... that sucked. I'll try again later. (goes out of stage)

Bunny: (in Tinky Winky costume) I made costumes! Of my favourite TV show characters for all my friends to wear! (passes the Telefukkies costumes to all, where they said "YAY!", except for Puppy)

Donkey: (in blue Teletubby costume, with three potatoes and pelicans in a bucket) I brought three potaters, a bucketful full o' pelicans, and Satan. (showing Satan in stage)

Bunny: Holy christwagons!

(Satan stabs Bunny in upper half with his tail, causing Bunny's upper body screaming and flying with blood spurting all over)

Cat: (in Dipsy costume, showing Cat's stepfather laying) I brought my drunken, passed out stepfather. (Bunny's upper body continues screaming and flying on Cat's stepfather, squirting him with blood)

Cat's stepfather: (grunts) Where the fuck am I... (standing up) You little queer... where the fuck am I, you little queer?! You come over here right now, I'll wring ye fucking neck!

Cat: Hey, uh, can I borrow your Satan, just for a minute?

Cat's stepfather: I'll kick yer fucking ass you lil' faggot! That's right! I'll kick your ass!

Donkey: Okeedokee!

Cat's stepfather: You asked for it! You fuckin asked for it! (Satan stabs him with his spiky hand)

Cat: Theenks!

Donkey: That's a'ight - I got three potaters here too! (passes three potatoes to Cat)

Cat: Cool! I like potatoes. (Satan's spike pops out of his stepfather's eye)

Puppy: OK, OK my turn again! OK. I got rare straight-curious lesbians... (showing two rare straight curious lesbians playing ping-pong with their boobs) playing ping pong, with their gigantic, life-affirming jumblies. Hee-yeah!

Cat: Aww, christ. It's always about the naked broads with the big tits too, isn't it?

Pico: (appears) And it still looks like Happy Tree Friends!

Puppy: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!! FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKERS!!!

Hamster: Hooray!

Satan: (showing his snowglobe) I brought a snowglobe!

(A knight rider came out of nowhere, breaking the stage wall)

Hamster: I brought a Knight Rider! With Turbo Boost!

Michael Knight: Uh, Gary Coleman? Turbo boost is actually broken.

Hamster: Wha'chu talking about, David Hasselhoff?

(cuts to the scene, where Sheep is appearing)

Sheep: Ahem. I brought something too...

Cat: Hey, who the fuck is that guy?

Puppy: Who fucking cares.

Sheep: I brought DOOM, TO YOU ALL!!!

Satan: Oh no! Not doom!

Sheep: Yes doom. For I am actually... (takes off his head, revealing Matt Groening)

Matt Groening: Simpsons creator Matt groening.

Cat: Shit!

Puppy: Fuck!

Donkey: Potaters?

Matt Groening: I have traveled back in time, from the far-off year of 2005 A.D., to prevent the Retarded Animal Babies movie, from out-grossing my vastly superior Simpsons movie.

Donkey: Well shut in my mouth and call me your sister.

Matt Groening: Cowabunga, dead dudes. (shoots Cat, incinerating Donkey, and shooting Puppy's head off, while laughing maniacally. Suddenly, a bullet comes to the screen and explodes) THE END! Ha-ha, cowabunga, dead dudes. Heh-heh. I gotta write that down.