RAB 8/Transcript

[first, we gotta go to the deleted scene]

Cat: OK, sorry if I asked...

Bunny: Well, here's what I really don't get. I mean, here we are, tossing our junk, watching porno, and... aren't we supposed to be Babies?

Cat: And Retarded, now that you mention it.

Bunny: Yeah! That too! What's up with that?

Hamster: My am smartiest!

Donkey: Yeah, I've been doin' this all day, and nuthin... and nuthin's happening. [we see Donkey fapping his right leg]

Cat: Well, maybe just some of us are Retarded.

Puppy: And let's not forget about the Animals part of Retarded Animal Babies. Now we ARE Animals, which means we can be six months old and wanna fuck. And I SOOO likes ta fuck, with my pee-pee place, of course!

Cat: Good captain christ! You're right, Puppy! We needs us some bitches!

[Back to the real episode. Episode starts with RABs fap while watching women with breasts]

Bunny: I don't understand... Why do the boobies taunt so?!

Puppy: [completely covered in cum, doing Sean Connery impression] Why does the shun some up? Or are the shtars jusht pinholesh in the curtain of night? Who knows, Highlander?!

Cat: Whoa! What's with Sean Connery imitation?

Puppy: Well, laddie! When I'm feeling eshpeshially ready, I jusht get a little connery in my voishe, that'sh all. And I'll thank you to shtay outta my pershonal affairsh!

Cat: OK, sorry if I asked...

Donkey: Yeah, I've been doin' this all day, and nuthin... and nuthin's happening. [we see Donkey fapping his right leg]

Cat: Good captain christ! Donkey's actually right about something! We're not getting anywhere here, we need some b*tches!

Puppy: Right on! Oh, Right on, Cat!

Cat: [stutters] Let's just this shit off and find some tang. [turns off TV]

Bunny: Valentine's day tang!

Puppy: Sweet meat on saturday! Let's hit the club!

Hamster: Hooray!

[explosion comes up with heart while What Is Love music playing]

[cuts to Club Seal's outside view, then inside view where RABs appear]

[Bunny does Michael Jackson dance, then Cat sways hands while dancing, then Puppy does a new dance move while chanting "Bam!", then Donkey does a break dance, which he trips a girl]

Puppy: OK, guys, everyone memorize those opening lines I gave ya?

Cat: And remember, first impressions are everything! There is a nice looking slab of meaningless flesh! Bunny, you go first!

Bunny: OK, but I've got a bad feeling about this... [goes to the woman who wears red dress]

Puppy: It's called an erection. You'll get used to it! [drinks wine] Fag...

[cuts to woman with red dress where Bunny appears]

Bunny: Excuse me, I seem to have misplaced my heart. I was wondering if you had it?

Woman with red dress: Aww, you're so cute! What's your name?

[cuts to Puppy, who gives thumbs up to Bunny]

Bunny: Sir Lancetwat? [gets smacked by woman]

Hamster: Ooohhh... No sexings yet.

Cat: Let me go next. I have an idea. [goes to explore]

Donkey: Idea... Ouch! Those hurt me...

[cuts to two women dancing. First one is black with red dress, second is caucasian with red hair and pink dress]

Cat: [appears in the stage] So, you ladies interested in making a reverse childbirth film with me? I call baby! [gets smacked with sandal]

Puppy: Oh, you're next, Donkey.

Donkey: Okeedokee! [goes to explore]

[cuts to woman with red dress, which Donkey appears]

Donkey: Ahem!

Woman with red dress: Yes?

Donkey: Have you ever heard of Donkey Punch?

Woman with red dress: Um, no.

Donkey: That's what I'm doin' you from behind, see, and when you turn around and say "HEY!", I'll punch you real hard, y'see, it's like, like a Dirty Sanchez only with punching.

[15 minutes later...]

[Puppy notices that the phone rings, picks it up]

Puppy: Yeah.

Donkey: [in phone] It worked! I'm havin' sex I think!

Puppy: That's great man! I knew you could do it!

[in prison, where Donkey gets raped by prisoner]

Donkey: Alright! I gotta go now. Bye. [hangs the phone, looks at prisoner] HOOO-WEEY! I'm a butter dumpster!

Prisoner: [punches Donkey] Donkey Punch!

[cuts to Puppy and Hamster]

Puppy: OK, you and me. I think you can handle this, Hamster?

Hamster: No, I are sorry, Puppy. No one can ever have me. I are saying myselves.

Puppy: What? For what?! Please, don't say Bruce Willis!

Hamster: Oh, well...

Puppy: Because for one thing, he's a guy!

Hamster: O-OK, but...

Puppy: Nonowaitysewhawa! Be like him, not in him!

Hamster: [sighes] Right...

Puppy: Right. [throws Hamster] Now, go fuck like a good christian!

[Hamster jumps in woman with red dress's breasts, then pops out]

Woman with red dress: Whoa! Where did you come from?!

Hamster: My friend says that I should tell you that I are your "Towering Inferno of Penis-y Pleasure", but I are too sad for that... Ooohhh... Please have pity on me!

Woman with red dress: [pulls Hamster out of her breasts] That's it! I'm going home! Goodnight, Stan!

Fucking Fucker: [pops out of nowhere] Not so fast! Fuck my opening line! Now come away with me now so that I might fucking fuck you!

Woman with red dress: Nice language. You kiss your mother with that mouth?

Fucking Fucker: My mother? What do you mean?

Hamster: Tsk. You know! Your mommy! Everyone has a mommy!

Fucking Fucker: Mommy?!

[cuts to flashback where dog mother lays down with cute puppies standing, then Puppy got a birth]

Puppy: Yeah! That was great! I got my whole body through! Mom? You OK over there? Mom? Mommy?

Sean Connery: She'sh dead, shon! You fokin killed her ya wee girl!

Puppy: NNNOOOOOOO!

[flashback ends]

Fucking Fucker: MOMMY!!!!! WHY, GOD!!?!?!?!

Hamster: Oh, no wonder you am sexy all the time. You are overcoming for no female role-model havings.

Fucking Fucker: '''FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYONE!!!! NO, NO! TOO PERSONAL!!! FUCK YOU! TOO PERSONAL!! EPISODE OVER! EPISODE OVER!!!'''

Satan: Is this guy bothering you, ma'am?

Woman with red dress: No, not really.

Fucking Fucker: (sobs) EPISODE OVER!!!

Hamster: He has no mommy. It are saddest.

Fucking Fucker: Episode over, EPISODE OVER, EPISODE OVER (sobs) ohh god!

Woman with red dress: Hey, Stan. I'll have another Long Island Iced Tea.

Satan: On the house. (brings Long Island Iced Tea to Woman with red dress)

Fucking Fucker: MOMMY!!! (cuts to ending background with brown, thick text instead of red text) THE END! (cuts to him then cuts to ending background again) THE END!!! (cuts to him again and Fucking Fucker cries and falls)

Hamster: I have to say it. It are my line.

Fucking Fucker: THEN FUCKING SAY IT ALREADY!!!

Hamster: But, I have no sexings.

Fucking Fucker: Please, just say the end!

Hamster: (sighs) Okay. (cuts to ending background with red text) The e... (cuts to him) Uh..

Fucking Fucker: WELL?!?!

Hamster: Can I fuck Bruce Willis?!

Fucking Fucker: Fine, anything!

Hamster: Hooray!

(The end!)