Fucky Fucksgiving/transcript

The episode starts with a cold, sparkling winter, then to the house, where Cat is watching at window, waiting for Santa to come)

Cat: Wow. What a great night for Santa to come.

(cut to Bunny and Hamster, laying on their bed)

Hamster: Santa?

Bunny: Presents? Tonight? For real?!

(their pee pees stick in their blankets, then cut to Donkey and Puppy who is laying on his bed)

Donkey: Stick this hot glue gun in my ear? Okeedokee! (sticks hot glue gun in his ears, laughing crazily when hot glue gun spurting in his ears)

Puppy: Naw, man! It's Thanksgiving tomorrow, not Christmas!

(cut to Cat with the bong next to him on the table)

Cat: Fuck! My stepfather's bong. This everlasting parade of weed we've been smoking is starting to affect time and space.

Hamster: (flies with his cosmic powers) Magic bong plants give me cosmic powers!

Donkey: (appears) Huh? Wazzat again?

(cut to Puppy)

Puppy: Let's just sleep it off. Got a turkey to kill tomorrow!

(cut to everyone else, with Puppy clapping, which making lights go off and Animal Babies sleep, except for Cat)

Cat: So, you're saying... This isn't the Christmas episode?

Puppy: (wakes up) Dude, if you say one more fucking word about some movie with a Red Rocket B-B Gun or whatever, I swear to Christ I'll ass-rape you with a handful of rusty corncob holders! (Bunny and Hamster wake up)

Cat: Allright allright! Goodnight! (they fall asleep, then a few seconds, Cat wakes up again) Say, who's house is this, anyway? It ain't mine. My stepfather makes me sleep in the attic. In a bucket of nails.

Bunny: (wakes up) This used to be Wil Wheaton's house.

Puppy: (wakes up) Yeah, uh, he was gonna guest-star in this episode, but he got some job at VH-1 instead. So I cut out his esophagus and hung him with it.

Hamster: (wakes up) Hooray! (they fall asleep again)

Donkey: (wakes up) Y'all are gonna have to speak up. I-I can't hear ya.

(the next day...)

(morning, kitchen, where Puppy and his fellows try to cook turkey)

Puppy: (in a chef hat) Okay! Let's cook this fucker up and suck on his bones 'till our faces cave in! (turkey gobbles)

Donkey: (sitting on a sink) Huh? I, I still can't hear ya.

Hamster: I are feely baddest for him.

Bunny: It's just the way things are, Hamster. It's the Circle of Life.

Hamster: Ohhh...

Puppy: CIRCLE OF DEATH!!!

(Puppy swings turkey's head with katana, but turkey hides its head, then pops out)

Puppy: Uh! You fucking bitch!

(tries to swing turkey's head again, but Donkey's ears, turkey hides its head again and it pops out, Puppy's chef hat falls off)

Puppy: Shit! Another miss!

Donkey: Hey! I can hear again!

Bunny: I'd take him out with these brass knuckles, but I don't have any REAL knuckles.

(Puppy cuts Bunny's hand, revealing his fingers)

Bunny: AAGGGH--- Hey! I have fingers! Theenks!

(Bunny takes his brass knuckles on and tries to punch turkey, but it hides it in. Bunny does the same thing over again, but turkey hides its head in over again, until turkey plucks out Bunny's eyes, making him scream and faint. Turkey throws eyes out to Donkey's ears)

Donkey: HOO-EEY!! Now I can see AND hear in four dimensions!

Hamster: (flies with his "cosmic powers") We am BOTH cosmic masters now!

Donkey: Well, choke my goats with Ovaltine! Our retarded minds are one!

Hamster: YAY! We am the averagest!

(Donkey and Hamster shoot turkey with their beam, but turkey transforms into an 8-headed hydra. It shrieks and breathes fire)

Cat: Hey! You're supposed to be tasty and delicious! (Hydra shrieks and breathes fire to Cat's head)

Donkey: Well! That ain't supposed to happen...

Hamster: What would Bruce Willis do?

Donkey: He'd pretend I was Demi Moore... and crawl into my skull.

Hamster: Okay!

(Hamster crawls into Donkey's skull and fights an hydra with a horrible, but hilarious groan. They fire each other with Hydra's fire and Donkey's beam)

Puppy: This... just... isn't getting any fucking better at all.

Cat: What do we eat? There's nothing else in the house! (they look at dead Bunny corpse and get an idea)

(cut to dining area, where RABs, except for Bunny corpse who is under the table, eating dinner. Hamster and Hydra still stuck in Donkey's head)

Donkey: Any mashes pataters? Or cranberry sauce? S'good.

Cat and Puppy: No.

Puppy: You gonna eat that penis?

Cat: I CALLED PENIS!

(it reveals that Puppy and Cat are eating their torsos)

(THE END!)

(someone throws penis piece offscreen)

Satan: (appears) Hey... I wasn't in this one, either?

Puppy: (appears without his torso) Would you go fuck yourself, deadbeat?

Satan: Okay... (disappears)

Puppy: Jeez! Get your own damn movies... (jumps out of the credits blackground)